Falling Apart
by K. Raquel
Summary: What happens after Dr. Gregory House is admitted to a mental facility? How will House, Wilson, Cuddy, and the team cope? Will Amber ever disappear? A Huddy Fanfic. *Takes place at start of season 6, nothing to do with aired episode.* R&R *Chpt. 8 up now!*
1. Chapter 1: Falling Apart

So, this is my first Fanfic. Before you read, i would just like to point out a few things.

1) This is not what I think the season 6 premiere will be like! it was merely an idea that came to my mind. Knowing the writers of the show, this is WAY too predictable. :) But, like i said, it was just an idea that came to my mind.

2) I probably should have done some more research on what mental facilities are like, but I was too crammed with school work! But i'm pretty sure the conditions would be way different than they are in this Fic!

3) I'm sorry if it's a bit confusing. If you need clarification, message me! I've revised it about 11 times now and decided that if i changed any more, the whole story would be completely different. also, sorry about the length. it was about 9 pages in word, but i couldn't find a good place to split it into 2 chapters, so now you have one long chapter!

4) I never realized until now how hard it is to write a character like House. i, unfortunately, do not have the cleverness and wits that the character has, so it was really difficult trying to figure out what he would say. but considering the setting and mood of the story, i thought i should make him desperate and confused, which would obviously make him a bit less jerk-like.

5) PLEASE review! I need tips to improve my writing! should i keep writing? i was thinking of doing another chapter about Cuddy and Wilson at PPTH, so tell me what you think! Plus, any ideas you have would be greatly appreciated.

Copyright- House MD belongs to David Shore and Fox.

Disclaimer- please don't steal my work.

* * *

"No." He breathed. Shaking his head, Dr. Gregory House angrily pounded his fists against the cream colored walls.

The room was plain looking. Cream colored walls, a white cot placed in the middle of the room, and a wooden dresser placed next to the wide, square window on the far side of the room, directly across from the puke-green door. In the far left corner of the room was a small wooden chair. The floor was made up of snow-white tiles with little green dots splattered here and there. The ceiling matched the boring tiles. There was no guitar in the corner, no white board against the wall, and no doctors trying to solve a case in the middle of the room.

No, this was definitely NOT house's ideal room to be in.

"No!" He spoke, a bit louder now. But no one heard. Except for her, of course.

Amber Volakis grinned. "So, what's next, chief? I mean, there's no vicodin, so we can't OD on anything. And I'm pretty sure there's' no alcohol around here either. Getting drunk is out of the question. So I guess all there's left to do is sit and chat…"

House ignored her, once again smacking the wall with as much force as he could conjure up. Hopefully, that would scare off the horrid hallucination of Wilson's dead girlfriend. Out of pure frustration, he shut his piercing blue eyes, put his forehead to his arm leaning against the wall, and tried desperately to shut her out.

Casually, Amber strutted over to the wooden chair in the corner and plopped down. She let out a lifeless sigh. Glancing over at House, she continued. "Wow, this is a…nice place. Not much to do, but there's always the option of pissing off that guy in the next room over. That could get fun…hmm…I wonder what his problem is…"

Hopelessly trying to ignore Amber's all too familiar remarks, House angrily tapped his cane on the plain tile floor. He started to make his way over to the un-original bed placed in the middle of the boring room.

Amber's eyes stayed glued on him as he limped with his cane towards his destination. Finally accepting the fact that she was being ignored, she rolled her eyes and shifted her legs, crossing left over right. "Look, you chose to be put in here, so you can't really blame this on me. You could have just accepted the fact that we will eventually be best buds."

She smirked.

"Don't you see House? I'm all you have now. You never cared about anyone else's happiness, so you made everyone around you miserable. YOU we're miserable. And finally, when there's no one around for you to scare off, you realize that you've been missing out on a lot. You could have-"

"Leave me alone." House, already lying in the extremely uncomfortable bed with his hands covering his scruffy face, plainly exclaimed.

Sarcastically, Amber gasped. "Well, that's kind of unfair! I was just trying to help. You know, we could become REALLY close if you just stopped moaning all the time. But you can't even handle your own sub-conscious." She stuck out her bottom in a mocking pout. "That's sad."

House went from covering his face to rubbing his temples. "You're not real. Get out of my head." He shut his eyes, anxiously trying to make the annoying, blonde phantasm disappear.

Amber half-heartedly laughed. Even if she was, in reality, dead AND a hallucination, that didn't stop he from being a so called "cut-throat bitch".

She stood up and adjusted her lavender pencil skirt and button-down white blouse. As she started pacing, arms crossed at her small chest, her grey pumps clacked noisily along the tile. She started towards the window, overlooking the outdoor area of the mental facility.

"Just face it House; what haven't you tried to do to make me go away? Maybe you'll just have to get used to the fact that I might be here for a little while."

Moving towards the bed now, Amber added to her point.

"I might be here forever."

A playful smile spread across her face as she stared down at House. He shut his eyes even tighter than they were before. It seemed like if he tried any harder, his eyes would never open again.

After a long moment of silence, Amber once again sighed out of boredom. She decided to sit on the bed, facing away from House, who was still lying down on his back. His jaw was tightly clamped and he rubbed his forehead in pure anguish.

After being ignored yet again, Amber decided to lay down right next to house, parallel to his tense body. House, in his causal t-shirt and a pair of baggy jeans, rolled over and let out a distressed groan.

Amber slapped the mattress with both hands as a sardonic motion of defeat. "Alright, fine. I'll go away."

What seemed like forever passed by, and House finally sat up and opened his eyes. A blonde figure stood at the foot of the bed, staring him down with cold eyes. He moaned in frustration.

"The last time I checked, you saying you would go away would mean that… you wouldn't still be here. Unless, the meaning of 'Go away' was changed to 'stay here and annoy the living crap out of people who have better things to do than to try and ignore people who ARENT REAL'. If that's the case, I would _completely_ understand why you're not out of my face yet, but you can never tell in America these days."

House let out an angry sigh. He was too exhausted and perturbed to be much of a jerk at the moment.

Amber, being his subconscious, of course knew what he was thinking. She raised one eyebrow. "House? Too tired to be a jerk? Wow! We should do this more often!"

On the verge of throwing something, House tried to swipe at amber with his cane. Effortlessly (and without taking her eyes off of house), amber caught it, as it was about to whack the side of her face. She scoffed.

"You really ARE loosing it!" she thrust the cane the same way it came, and started pacing again. Using her fingers to tick off her points, Amber exclaimed, "First of all, you're seeing things." At that, she pouted and widened her eyes. "Secondly, you're loosing your extreme ass hole-ness, which… could actually be a good thing." She stopped pacing and glanced at house. She cast an innocent, sarcastically sorry look in his direction.

"Well, not for us, but that might make cuddy a little hap-"

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" House had enough. He threw his cane to the ground and quickly stood up. Nothing else seemed to matter to him at that moment. He limped over to where amber was standing. He got so close, that if amber were actually real, he would be able to feel her breath on his face.

"I wouldn't be seeing dead people if you were already gone!"

Amber quickly responded. "Oh! Speaking of you seeing dead people! How nice was it to see Kunter again? He was such a sweet guy…I'm glad you hired him. Thirteen, not so much, but why dwell on the past?"

House never really thought about it, but why _did_ he hire thirteen? Oh yeah, he remembered. House never could pass up a hot bi-sexual.

Oh right. Amber rolled her eyes.

She and House stood in the center of the room, staring each other down like wild animals about to pounce. Feeling a mixture of irritation and despair, he literally spat when he spoke.

"Leave Kutner out of this." The way the words flew from his mouth would puncture any normal human's heart within seconds. But even if House were talking to the actual Amber, it would take a lot more than that to stir her stubborn emotions. And it would definitely take more than that to puncture his self-conscious.

Ignoring the way the sharp words flew out of House's mouth, Amber pouted.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hit a soft spot? So I'm guessing the mention of your beloved Cuddy would also hit close to home. Does House actually have-"

"Your not real."

Amber smirked, completely entertained.

"Neither is he." She jerked her hear backwards.

House peered around Amber's blonde head, instantly spotting Kutner balanced on the windowsill. Kutner smiled meekly and gave a small wave. House was taken aback. All of a sudden, House realized where this was going. Painfully, he shifted his gaze from the hallucination of Kutner back to the bitchy-blonde that stood in front of him.

"You're not real." He said, once again. This time though, he said it less fiercely than he had before. He looked back to the window, only to find Kutner gone. This couldn't be happening.

Amber furrowed her brow, and crossed her arms. As she watched House's expression change from angry to thoughtful, a grin appeared on her flawless face. He was finally getting it.

"You…are trying to tell me something." House felt his heart drop. It was all making sense now.

"No…you're trying to tell _yourself _something." Her smile stretched from ear to ear at this point. It was a haunting one, the sort that would make a regular person shiver and look away; but House's mind was too occupied to think on it too much. Amber started to back away from the puzzled-looking diagnostician.

She narrowed here eyes as she spoke.

"Why do you think you're seeing Kutner?"

House DID get it. But…. The feeling was unexplainable. Waves of confusion, rage, and sorrow swarmed the doctor all at once, becoming too much to handle.

"He…was just my employee…." It was barely audible.

Amber let out a stifled laugh, trying to hold back. After all, what entertained House more than the confusion on a person's face when he said something witty and clever? Amber, being House, was more than delighted at House's reaction.

"Really? That's it? _Employee? _Well, why do you think you're seeing me?"

House just stood motionless in the middle of the room while Amber circled him, the unfriendly smirk never leaving her lips.

"You've been denying the truth," she closely watched his facial expressions change as she paced, circling him as a cheetah would stalk it's prey.

Her sweet voice now turned cold and intimidating.

"I'm the truth."

When House once again didn't budge, Amber exhaled noisily.

"The only reason you want me gone is because you're afrai-"

"The only reason I want you gone is because you're annoying!" House spoke a little too loudly, startling Amber. Only his mouth moved, but his eyes spoke to Amber more than his lips did.

Slightly annoyed with the interruption, she continued.

"You're afraid of your own emotions. You're scared to death of rejection. And you're terrified of the future. You really think that your one and only personality trait is the capability of being an ass?" she stopped pacing, stationing herself right behind house, so close that she whispered directly into his right ear.

" House, you're mind is trying to tell you that it's time you start…caring. Showing your true feelings." Stopping for dramatic effect, Amber took a deep breath and exhaled right into houses ear. House remained frozen, finally realizing the full truth.

No. He thought, but he couldn't speak.

"You care about Wilson. You feel guilty about what happened on that bus. And, as much as you would hate to admit it, you hate seeing him upset." She began to circle him once more, leaning in with eagerness.

" You cared about Kutner. We all know that you could have stopped him…if only you knew…"

House shut his eyes.

Amber's whisper was even quieter than before. "Guilty?"

Finally, She stopped right in front of House, and stared straight into his eyes. He looked past her, deep in thought.

Looking smug, Amber took a small step, which brought her even closer to him. Quickly, she took house's rough, calloused hands into her own and gently stroked his coarse skin with her thin, bony fingers.

"And Cuddy…" House felt a surge roll through his veins. It wasn't completely because a hallucination of Wilson's dead girlfriend was caressing his hand, either.

"You had your chance. No…you had your _chances_. But what did you do? You just sat there on your ass and watched her slowly…" She gently lowered House's hand down to his side, and released her grip, "slip away."

"She could have been happy, House. _You_ could have been happy. But, you hurt yourself. And the worst part is, there was more damage done to her than there was to you. So now you're feeling…."

Amber flipped her hair behind her shoulder, and then leaned into one hip, placing her hand on it. She raised her eyebrows as she watched house slowly open his mouth to finish her sentence.

"Guilt." He mumbled. His heart burned as a picture of Cuddy made it's way into his already-cluttered mind. His eyes closed, trying to focus on her stunning features. The picture disappeared. Slipped away.

Amber half sighed-half laughed, and walked over to the window once more. "So…I guess since me and Kutner are already…you know, "she shivered, "there's only one thing you can do to get back to your…_normal_ life." She emphasized the word normal, knowing that house's life was FAR from that.

"Well, of course you need to find a way out of here, but…you know that's not the hard part." False sympathy was inflicted in her shrill voice.

She was right. It was easy for House to intimidate Wilson into getting what he wanted, but House had never really admitted straight out about having any feelings for another human being.

"But if you push through the side that makes you a complete jerk, why would I need to still be here? Once you admit your true emotions, there's really no need for me anymore."

Amber took a seat on the windowsill and watched House start to make his way over to his bed to pick up his cane. He stopped.

Amber grinned.

"My…." House rubbed his thigh.

"My leg."

Amber put her chin in her palm, leaning her elbow on the top of the small dresser, placed right next to the window. "Oh, yeah. I forgot one little detail."


	2. Chapter 2: Interruptions

So, i couldn't help but finish this chapter. i started writing it right after i uploaded chapter one, not knowing if either of them would be very good. I still don't know, but I enjoyed writing this so i couldn't stop! plus, it's only been a few days, so please review to let me hear some thoughts, comments, and criticism.

I got so absorbed in this chapter, for there are so many ways to express the pain that some of these characters are going through. Hopefully there's more to come on the Cameron/Chase story-line :) Depending on how much more you want to hear.

So R&R!

enjoy!

* * *

You would think that the absence of House would benefit Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, and maybe lift off some negative energy. That wasn't the case.

Everything was dark, it seemed. Outside, the rain fell heavily on the glass windows and doors of the hospital, and huge, black clouds engulfed the sun. The nurses were milling around the clinic, although not as urgently as they were before the best doctor in the hospital was sent off to a mental hospital. Everything seemed empty without House there to make snide remarks or comments.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy, the Dean of Medicine at the hospital, was taking it especially hard. She sat at her desk looking through papers. Her eyes were quickly scanning the words on the page, but her mind was somewhere else. Almost a week had gone by, and not once did an employee comment on the size of her ass or the shape of her breasts. Truthfully, Cuddy missed that.

After about a half hour of mindlessly looking through paperwork, Cuddy put her head in her hands and sighed. Even when she urged herself to work, her mind always wandered back to him. How was he doing? Was he making any sudden progress? Cuddy needed her plentiful questions answered.

Just earlier that week, House had told the entire Hospital that he had slept with Cuddy, which, at the time, infuriated her. Not once did she ever think about what might be going on in his head. She felt guilty for not helping him when he needed her. She felt guilty for taking everything way too seriously. And she was guilty for not being a good enough boss to check in on her employees once in a while and make sure they were all healthy. If only she had checked with House, maybe she could have stopped all of this from happening.

But there was one aspect of it all that Cuddy couldn't wrap her mind around. After House hallucinated sex with her, he seemed…happy. For the first time. Never before had Cuddy used the words 'House' and 'happy' in the same sentence. But once he found out it was all in his head, the look on his face shattered her heart. He truly thought that it was real and he was …happy.

There was nothing more that Cuddy wanted than for it all to be real, too.

Her thinking was interrupted by a light knock on the door. Cuddy looked up, only to find an employee already inside her office.

"We think our patient has HCV," Dr. Eric Foreman stated simply, immediately sensing cuddy's sadness.

Cuddy sighed and shrugged. She began to file some of the mountains of work building up on her desk. "Well…do a liver biopsy." She wasn't in the mood.

Foreman gave a curt nod and turned on his heels to leave. He stopped himself.

"That's it?" Facing her, he narrowed his eyes.

Cuddy sighed once more and looked up to meet his gaze. She had been looking paler than usual lately, and she wasn't wearing much makeup. Her eyes looked tired. "What do you want me to do? Fight with you about the discomfort and complications of a liver biopsy?" She turned back to her papers.

"If House were here, you-"

"Well, House _isn't_ here. So there's no need for this conversation." Cuddy stood up and smoothed out her Black pencil skirt and low-cut pink top. She had to look composed in front of her employees, even if her mind was far from it. Her gaze met Foreman's, and she raised her eyebrows.

"If there is something you wish to discuss further, please consult one of the nurses out in the clinic and I will get back to you at my convenience." Her sharp words cut thorough foreman like a dagger, but he legs took him one step closer to the Dean of Medicine. Cuddy noticed that he wasn't about to leave and walked around her desk to where Foreman was standing. Her arms were crossed at her chest and her eyes were empty. Foreman knew something was up.

He spoke in a sincere tone. "Cuddy, where is House?"

Cuddy knew this was coming. Only Cuddy and Wilson knew House's true whereabouts. The team had been working under the direction of Foreman, but none of them knew where their boss was. Even Foreman, the team member who hated House the most, wanted him back.

She let out a deep sigh. Even though his eyes were warm and concerned, She couldn't meet his gaze. To avoid looking directly at him, she diverted her attention to the carpeted floor. As she shut her eyes, she took a deep breath. Tears began to fill the brims of her lower eyelids as she looked up at her colleague, finally realizing that the team needed to know where their boss was.

As she opened her mouth to answer, there was another knock on the door. Both doctors turned around to find Allison Cameron and Robert Chase, two doctors who used to be part of House's team until they switched to another part of the hospital, standing at the door. Cuddy was relieved.

She motioned for the two doctors to come in. As they opened the door, Cuddy glanced at Foreman.

"We'll pick this up later," She lied. Foreman shook his head and slid past Cameron and Chase to exit the office, knowing that later meant never. Cameron shot a confused look in his direction, and then looked at Chase, who shrugged.

Cuddy noticed the exchange, and let out a small laugh.

"It's…not important." She forced a smile.

"Umm…ok. Well, that's not why we're here," Cameron was wearing her blonde hair up in a high ponytail. Her black pants matched her vest, with a baby blue blouse underneath. When she spoke, there was something hidden in her voice, but Cuddy couldn't figure out what exactly what it was.

Chase took a step up to where Cameron stood, and put his arm around his wife. He urged her to go on.

She took a deep breath. "We need to talk about something."

Cuddy's eyebrows knit together. "Is everything ok?"

The concern in her voice made Cameron's heart hurt. A tear escaped Cameron's eye as she spoke.

"Well, yes…but no. It's just that-"

She was interrupted by the sound of the door opening, yet again. Why now? Cuddy wanted peace and quiet for once that day, and now this.

They all turned around to find Dr. James Wilson shutting the door behind him as he entered the already crowded office. When he looked up at the situation, he hesitated.

"Oh…am I interrupting something?" when no one answered, he frowned and pointed to the door, signaling that he was about to exit.

"No!" Cuddy and Cameron shouted in unison. Cuddy knew that Wilson had to talk to her, and she needed to know how if he had heard anything from House yet. Cameron was stalling for time. Chase rolled his eyes, knowing that this conversation would have to wait.

Wilson's hands flew up in surrender. "Ok! Sorry!" The oncologist turned back on his heels and heading over to the couch on the far left side of the room.

Cameron played with her engagement ring and stared at the floor. "Umm...we can just talk later…" Without looking up, she grabbed chase by the wrist and headed over to the office door.

Cuddy blinked and raised her eyebrows. "Oh...umm…ok. fine." What was going on?

Chase shot an apologetic look in Cuddy's direction, and closed the door behind him. Cuddy glanced over at Wilson, who was staring after the two doctors.

Well, whatever it is, Cuddy thought, it can wait. All she was worrying about was House. Had Wilson heard anything?

As if reading her mind, Wilson sighed. "No." He walked over to the front of the desk and sat down on one of the chairs placed there. "I'm sorry, Lisa."

Cuddy tried to stop the tears from coming, but one after another they pushed through her closed eyes. Plopping down on her big desk chair, she put her head in her hands and silently cried. She was so grateful for Wilson, who came around and embraced her.

"Be patient. It's only been a week." His whisper was soothing, but nothing could keep Cuddy from crying. It may have only been a week, but for Cuddy, it seemed like forever. It was my fault, she thought. This only made her cry harder, and Wilson tightened his grip.

"It will be ok. I promise." Wilson tried to believe his own words, but had just as hard of a time as Cuddy did doing so. The past days had been rough for everyone, but they all knew that Cuddy was hit the worst.

After about 5 minutes of hugging and weeping, Cuddy looked up, her eyes blood shot and the little makeup she was wearing was smeared.

"Wilson," She choked on her words, feeing another round of sobs well up in her throat. She pushed them back.

"If they take him off the pills, he won't be the same doctor. He won't be the same person!" She shook her perfect brown waves from her face. Looking Wilson straight in the eyes. She said, "He'll be in pain. Even worse than how it is now…

He'll change."

"And he wont be the person that you fell in love with." Wilson concluded, and Cuddy dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap.

Wilson had always known that there had been a mutual love between House and Cuddy. The only thing that was holding them back was the boss-employee relationship; and now, this. The whole Mental Institution situation had affected the House/Cuddy relationship more than anything else. Wilson and Cuddy were both fearful of House becoming a different person. Wilson would loose his best friend, and Cuddy would loose the one she was supposed to be with.

Suddenly, a beeper went off. Cuddy looked up as Wilson sucked in air through his clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry… a patient just arrived at my office. I forgot I had a meeting." He stood up and started towards the door. He stopped.

"Cuddy, I'm about to tell someone that they're going to die. I know this whole thing is a pain in the ass, and I know you're upset. I am too. But there's always someone who's going to have it worse. This patient has severe lung cancer in its late stages. That's when you know it's over. This…" He paused to collect his thoughts. "This whole situation has only just begun. There's still hope. _This _isn't over yet."

Cuddy understood, but the pain wouldn't leave her heart. She nodded.

"Bye, Cuddy." Wilson turned and left. About 10 seconds later, Wilson poked his head back into the room. "Oh, and get some sleep. You look like you need it." Wilson was right. Cuddy hadn't had a good night of sleep in days.

Once the door was securely closed and Wilson had started walking away to his office, Cuddy responded. "Bye, Wilson." But he couldn't hear her. No one could. She felt alone even with Wilson, and now that he was gone, she broke down once more.

Both Doctors were terrified. Did the pill make the person? No one knew. But they were about to find out.


	3. Chapter 3: Happily Ever After

Well, I had this done a while back. so I'm just going to post it now.

KEEP IN MIND that this used to be part of chapter 1, but it got really long so i cut it and instead made it chapter 3. Plus, i needed to fill you in on the what was going on at PPTH. So to really understand this chapter, i recommend you re-read chapter one. I REPEAT chapter one and this chapter used to be put otghether as one chapter, but i needed to talk a bit about PPTH. So PLEASE review chapter one just so you can sort of get it.

Either way though, it took me forever to write this. I've changed it a billion times, and im afraid that if I don't post it now, im going to change more and then there will be no story left.

I must admit, this is _really_ confusing. I tried as hard as i could to explain it all, but even after all of the editing, i couldn't get it to completely fit what i was hoping it would because the whole situation is really complicated. Just bear with me though, because it will all be cleared up in the next chapter, i promise! but if by any chance, you do have any questions, message me!

sooo...R&R!

Disclaimer- i don't own House MD. it all belongs to Fox and David Shore.

just don't steal my take on it all :)

* * *

House shook his head. Why was he…not hurting? He was sure it had been almost a day since he first arrived at the mental institute, and he hadn't had a vicodin since. With the thought of the pill, he suddenly felt a craving. Amber was doing a really great job of keeping his mind off of the pill.

That couldn't be good.

"You can't always get what you want." Amber spoke slowly. "And you, of all people, would know that good things don't happen without strings attached."

She glared at him, her cold eyes seeing right through his stiff body.

"There's really no happily ever after."

House slowly shifted his vision from his pain-free leg over to where amber was sitting.

Amber raised her eyebrows. "What? You thought getting me away would make everything perfect? Just reminding you, you haven't thought of vicodin for about a day now until I mentioned it. You're too pre-occupied listening to me." House didn't need to be reminded. Amber, of course, mentioned it anyways. She jumped down form her perch triumphantly.

"Why aren't I in pain?" House still hadn't moved. The sudden shock left him frozen.

Amber spoke with a casual cheeriness. "If I know, shouldn't you know?" she knew the answer to the question, and she asked him like it was the most obvious response in the world.

House was confused. "Well, I _don't_ know, which means you shouldn't either."

"What if I knew things that you don't...things that you will never admit to yourself when I'm gone? IF I'm ever gone." Amber watched every possible emotion cross his face.

When House didn't speak, Amber did.

"It's all in your head." She smiled.

"I have a screwed up leg. Those tend to hurt sometimes." House rolled his eyes in his usual sarcasm. But it wasn't the same, for there was fear beneath it all.

Ignoring him, Amber repeated herself, now picking at her nails.

"It's all in your head. The misery, the pain, everything. And you will never admit that to yourself." Amber shifted onto her right hip, staring House down again. He dropped his gaze to the floor in mystification. She had some explaining to do.

"House, your leg doesn't hurt. Why is that? Because I'm here to remind you about the truth…that it's not real. And while I'm here, the pain will stay gone." She knew House understood the technical part of it, but she went on anyways.

"You're so pathetic that you literally need your own subconscious to tell you that you're not in pain. So, that's my job. To remind you that it's all in your head. This is one of your weaknesses, House. You doubt yourself. Sure, you know yourself, but do you really_ know_ yourself?"

House rubbed his thigh.

"But you and I both know that you don't need me to tell you that you might never have a chance with the _one_ person out there who will actually love you back. You _can_ admit to yourself the guilt. AND you can admit to yourself that you have feelings for cuddy. You knowthat you always have."

"All that's left is for you to tell her. Then maybe you'll have that chance you've always wanted."

Amber laughed.

"I was in pain." House exclaimed, desperately. He tried ignored her last remarks, just focusing on the ache that should be in his leg.

"My point exactly." Amber shook her head. "You will NEVER admit to yourself that you weren't ever in pain. Me on the other hand…I can be here to remind you." She cocked her head.

"But if I'm not here…" she took her index finger and gently traced the path of a tear on her cheek.

House was way-beyond confused at this point. It was all happening so fast.

"Well if you're my subconscious, you're part of my mind. And if you're telling me that there's no actual pain, that means I'm attempting to tell myself there's no actual pain." He stopped. He scoffed at this thought.

Amber was quipped. "Do you really think that you will ever go deep enough into your brain to find me and to really admit to yourself and believe that you're leg is just an excuse to pill pop?"

House _knew_ that there had been pain, and him trying to tell himself that it was all in his head was just bizarre. So obviously he wasn't about to believe or admit that it was all in his head. Plus, he _needed_ that pill.

House thought about what Amber had said about Cuddy. He always knew that he loved Cuddy. His mind shifted to the way the tears glazed over her eyes when she fired him after he announced to the entire hospital that he slept with her. He was disappointed that it never actually happened. He wanted her, and she knew that. Hell, she wanted him too! But of course there are strings attached, he thought. There always are.

Remembering the current situation and his leg, he looked up at amber's all-too smug smile.

He was _sure_ there was pain before.

"It's you're call, House." Amber approached the frozen doctor, who hadn't moved much during this conversation.

"You have to choose. You can admit to Cuddy that you're guilty about being an ass. You can finally have her. I'll go away."

She twirled a strand of hair around her index finger. "It's not that hard. Plus, you know you want her."

House knew. But if Amber went away…

Amber continued to weigh the pros and cons. "Or, you could be drug free. _Pain_ free. I'll have to stay, but try to remember how it was when I first showed up." She made a popping sound with her lips. " It was pretty cool."

House was on the verge of insanity. Well, whom was he kidding? He WAS insane. He glared at Amber, knowing that he had to make a choice. She had a way of making both options sound luxurious. But in reality, House knew he couldn't have everything. He understood that Amber would go away if he fesses up to his feelings of guilt. If he did, she wouldn't need to be there to remind him of how he was supposed to feel. If he acknowledged his feelings of guilt and passion to Cuddy, the hallucinations would disappear but the pain and drugs wouldn't. The other option was that the pain would go away if Amber stayed, which meant no more drugs and no more mental hospitals. That is, if he kept quiet about Amber's presence. But that also meant no more Cuddy.

He thought about having no leg pain. House had always secretly wanted to not be considered a cripple. Even the strong-willed house couldn't bear the hurting 24/7.

Something was missing though. Amber wasn't telling the full truth. It hit house that either way, there would be pain. Either way, weather it be pain from his leg, or pain from his heart, he would never be completely happy.

Cuddy. He needed Cuddy. At least he thought he did, until he was presented with the idea of no leg pain. Both options were tempting. And House was always one to be selfish. Yeah, being with Cuddy would benefit him, and it would benefit her also. The happiness was spread equally. His leg, on the other hand, would create joy only he could experience, and that was always something he enjoyed.

No, House thought at the idea of having to make a choice- one that would change his life. He knew which happiness he wanted, and he knew he couldn't have both. After all, cutthroat bitch was right. There's really no happy ever after.

He opened his mouth to answer…the words that would determine his fate.

Suddenly, his mind was overwhelmed with feelings. He lost complete control of his thoughts, and his head was swirling in never-ending circles. House felt his knees give out, snapping like twigs in the fall. He felt his head hit the ground a little too hard as he fell onto the tile. As he lay on the floor shaking uncontrollably, He saw Cuddy's face, but as soon as the vision had come, it was gone.

No.

Amber leaned over his seizing body and stared into his empty, blue eyes, smiling wider than ever before.

"So, what's it gonna be?"

He looked up at her face, realizing that she was the joy he would never have. The way her smiled played at her lips was a feeing he would never have. For a second, House thought of Cuddy. The way Amber's eyes glistened when she was enjoying House's agony was the same way that Cuddy's did when she was laughing and having a good time.

This is what it came down to, House thought. Maybe he was about to make the wrong choice. Maybe life wanted him to snatch the other opportunity, and wouldn't let him make the choice himself.

Maybe this was fate.

And with that, everything became a blur.

Black.

What seemed to be a psychiatrist opening the door, peering into the drab room.

Black.

A crowd of doctors dressed in white coats and speaking loudly, holding medical equipment house couldn't fully make out.

Black.

"Can you hear me? We're going to help you. Are you ok?"

All House could manage to choke out was one word.

"Wilson."

Black.

* * *

So....any questions? feel free to ask away...just message me!

PS- I'm currently working on another fic right now, so it may be a little while until I get back to this one. just be patient!


	4. Chapter 4: What About Now?

It's been FOREVER since i updated, and I'm SO sorry!! Well...here's the fourth chapter. refresh your memory by re-reading the other chapters if you must. Any questions of comments? review or message me!

special thanks to Simone for once again doing an amazing job beta-ing for me :) you are a life saver!!!

So...R&R! enjoy!

* * *

Wilson sat in his office, anxiously staring at the phone. Both he and Cuddy were awaiting any type of news on how House was doing at the facility. So far, nothing had come.

Earlier that day, Cuddy had a mental breakdown. While Wilson tried to console her, he forced himself to stay strong. As soon as he got back to his office, though, he felt like breaking down, too. Instead, the star oncologist was scheduled to meet with a lung cancer patient to tell him that he only had a few months left to live. The patient took the news extremely well, or at least didn't show any signs of a breakdown. Wilson found it all ironic. The patient was about to die, and he didn't cry, but accepted the fact that life's a bitch; House had only been in the institute for a week, and both Wilson and Cuddy were already loosing all hope.

Maybe it's because the patient saw it coming, thought Wilson. The patient had been terminal for quite some time, and it was only a matter of exactly when it would be officially declared that he didn't have much time left. What if Cuddy and Wilson knew it was coming with House, too? What if they had made sure House was all right more often, and had helped him before everything was all blown completely out of proportion? If only they were like the patient, there wouldn't be this much pain. If only they knew the road ahead.

Neither of them did, though. Both doctors had hit a wall, and only when the bricks were removed would they be able to see the full picture. The only thing left for them to do was wait. Wilson sighed and rubbed his forehead. He needed to get back to work.

He decided to make everything easy on Cuddy by doing House's clinic hours, along with his own. As he slowly got up from the chair at his office desk, he grabbed his pager and cell phone just incase there was an emergency. Desperately trying to push all of this insanity out of his mind, the oncologist closed the door of his office as if all of his worries would be left behind in the room.

With a quick wipe of his hands on his black suit pants, he made his way over to the crowded clinic.

* * *

It seemed like forever since she had seen or heard from House, and all Cuddy wanted to do was cower in a corner and wait for the worst of the storm to pass-but she was a busy woman, and there was always work to be done.

Since Wilson had left, Cuddy had mindlessly filled out about six legal documents, ignored about four phone calls from toll free numbers trying to sell pointless products, and had thought about House more than 430958043958 times.

"Oh my gosh." Cuddy groaned, pulling her messy hair into a perfect-enough-for-the-circumstances ponytail. She needed to get out of that office. Quickly getting up from the chair, her head began to swirl. The head rush lasted about two seconds before everything settled back into its place, allowing Cuddy's vision to be clear again. She had been sitting at that damn desk for about an hour, slowly allowing the many truths of this mess to sink deeper into her body and soul. Something productive needed to be done, Cuddy thought.

At first, she considered checking up on House's team, but knew how that would unfold. Of course, they would demand an explanation, but Cuddy wouldn't give one to them. She _couldn't_ give one to them; it hurt too much to say it all aloud. It was as if saying it aloud made it that much more…real. Like this whole nightmare was truly happening. As she turned to look out her window, aimlessly observing the way the clouds covered the sun, she concluded that it wasn't the best idea to talk to the team.

Cuddy let out a small, helpless sigh.

Stepping out from behind her desk, Cuddy decided that she would tell Brenda, the head nurse; that she was leaving early. She had to get home. Hoping to escape to her safe, tranquil room; free of all her worries. Cuddy felt that she needed to see Rachael's face to make her feel somewhat better; plus, she needed some sleep. The Dean of Medicine lifted the desk phone receiver to her ear, lazily dialing the number of Rachael's baby-sitter. Cuddy let her know that she would be home in about a half hour, and quickly hung up.

As she grabbed her bag and coat from the coat rack, she stole one last look out of the huge window in the back of the office. The sun's light barely reached out from behind the heavy storm clouds, and instead was swallowed by the heavy, black fog that was surrounding it. It reminded her of the relationship she had with House. There was more to it than what met the eye. Something covered their true feelings for each other, and didn't allow their true emotions to be seen, and as much as they tried to tell each other how they really felt, the dark clouds kept them from doing so, engulfing their words and letting just a little flirtatious behavior push past. She sighed. Was there anything that could keep her mind off him?

Cuddy closed her eyes and quickly shook her head, making sure she was composed. She inhaled and stepped out of the office, heading over to the clinic desk to tell Brenda her plan.

As her lilac Steve Madden pumps clacked along the tile in the clinic, she pulled her black coat over her purple v-neck blouse and smoothed out her black skirt. She slid her designer purse onto her shoulder effortlessly and approached the desk. Brenda was hard at work filling out a patient file on the large desk in the center of the clinic lobby.

Brenda looked up, noticing Cuddy standing in front of her. She straightened up her posture, making sure she was presentable for her boss.

"Hello, Dr. Cuddy." She spoke kindly, not wanting to upset the Dean of Medicine. She knew something was amiss, and had noticed Cuddy's unusual behavior. The rest of the hospital seemed to be wondering what was wrong, also. Cuddy had never actually fully explained the whereabouts of House, so the rest of the staff was clueless as to what was going on.

"Is there something I can do for you?" Brenda quickly put down the pen she was using to fill out the file, signaling she was available to any task that her boss may have for her.

Cuddy gave a week smile, thankful for her hardworking staff. "Hello, Brenda. I just need you to tell anyone who may need me that I'm leaving early today. The baby-sitter has a family get together in about a half hour, and I need to watch Rachael," she lied.

Brenda noticed the false tone hidden beneath Dr. Cuddy's words, but decided that it was best not to mention it. "Ok, let me just notify the staff in the other wings." She picked up the PA to give notice to the rest of the hospital.

Cuddy thanked her and turned around to head out of the hospital, only to find Wilson speed walking into the clinic.

"Wait, Cuddy!" He yelled to her. Her heart stopped.

She quickly began to walk in Wilson direction, meeting him in the middle. Her deep blue eyes were wide; begging to know what was going on.

"I was about to leave to…watch Rachael. Is everything ok?" Her voice trembled.

Wilson's voice was full of panic, and his breath was short from running around the hospital looking for Cuddy, "The institution called."

Cuddy's heart stopped. Either this could go really good or really badly, she thought. She tucked a falling curl from her ponytail behind her ear.

"What? What's going on?"

Wilson spoke so only Cuddy could hear him.

"He's coming back."

Cuddy felt her heart lift, until she noticed his pained facial expression. The world suddenly came crashing down on her as Wilson continued.

"Only this time, he's not the doctor."


	5. Chapter 5: Permission

I'm SO sorry! I haven't updated in forever!! I sort of had writer's block, but I should be back on track very soon :)

This is kind of a filler chapter, and should do some explaining for the future. sorry it's so short (and really bad)! Chapter 6 used to be part of this chapter, but I decided to separate them for reasons not worth explaining! once again, huge thanks to Simone for the Beta+title help! You are the BEST! (Not Lupus-Everybody Lies....under my fav. authors on my profile...check it out!!)

R&R (pleasepleaseplease review! I LOVE to hear what you guys think!)

Enjoy!!

* * *

The sirens blared as the ambulance pulled up to PPTH. As the back doors of the truck were opened and the cart was wheeled out, the hospital security struggled to fight off curious civilians.

"He's stable, but not for long."

"Get him in quick!"

"Wow…who is that?"

The cart was pushed passed the questioning patrons and into the hospital. Dr. Wilson was waiting by the door to guide the men pushing the stretcher through the crowded and inquiring hallways and into the elevator. Once the doors had shut, Wilson attempted to get caught up on the current situation.

"He had a tonic grand mal seizure. Hit the ground hard, which caused a concussion," A young male EMT spoke quickly while looking over the patient's file.

Wilson's stomach dropped. This couldn't be happening. Where was Cuddy?

"We are assuming the seizure was caused by alcohol or drug withdrawal, but your doctors should run some tests to confirm."

Wilson gave a slight nod, but really wasn't paying much attention. It all had happened so fast.

Ten minutes after he had received the call from Mayfield, Cuddy had disappeared and the ambulance had arrived with House somewhat stable. Wilson had no clue where the team was, but was sure that they had already heard about the incident. There was a lot of explaining to be done, but he needed Cuddy's permission to give out the details.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, another EMT handed Wilson the file, even though Wilson knew he wouldn't need it.

"Thanks. Bring him to the first room on the left. One of the nurses will assist you with anything you may need help with." Wilson directed them.

As the cart was rushed off to the hospital room, Wilson sighed. His best friend was on that cart, and his other best friend was somewhere in Jersey, probably knee deep in tears of guilt. Wilson felt the same way. Guilt. The emotional form of pain. Gut-wrenching pain that wouldn't go away. It could have been different. "What if". The only thought that had been running through his head since House was admitted to Mayfield. Thinking about what could have been instead of what was really happening. All Wilson wanted to do was turn back time- to the days where House would shamelessly steal Wilson's lunch, or break another rule…or MRI machine. Instead, House was the patient, and his life depended on whatever decisions were made by Wilson, Cuddy, and the team. What if they made a mistake?

Wilson quickly shook his head, temporarily pushing those thoughts out of his

already overly cluttered mind. Suddenly, remembering the current situation, the bewildered oncologist realized that the team was probably waiting for him. He was reluctant to arrive at the diagnostics room, though. Where the hell was Cuddy? Not only did he still need her permission to tell the team the full story, but he also needed Cuddy to assist him with the news if they chose to deliver it.

Hastily, Wilson stole a quick glance at his watch, which read 1:00pm. He concluded that there was plenty of time to meet with the team, have them diagnose House and treat him while he looked for Cuddy, and meet back with them alongside Cuddy to explain to them what was really going on.

The distressed doctor shut his chocolate brown eyes and took a deep breath. He felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest, and the pain eagerly spread to all parts of his body- but he had to stay strong…. for now at least.

Urgently, Wilson turned on his heels and made his way to the diagnostics room. As he walked, he realized that for the first time in his life, he was truly scared- For Cuddy, for House, and for whatever the path ahead had in store.

No, not scared- absolutely terrified.


	6. Chapter 6: Running Out of Time

Yeah, I'm going to apologize ahead of the time for my crappy writing skills. I've been really lazy with my writing, and i've also been busy packing for my great summer adventures, so im really sorry!! I promise that when I return, i will improve the quality of my work.

Once again, thanks to Simone for helping me out! any part that you think is remotely good was fixed up A LOT by her...haha she's such a great help :) (Not . Lupus - Everybody. Lies.)

so, here is your chapter 6! I think it might be a little confusing, but you tell me. MANY things will be explained in later chapters. any questions or comment...write a review!

thats about it! R&R (please!!! I've got to know what you all think!)

enjoy!!!

* * *

As he spotted her, Chase made his way over to the empty park bench located outside of the hospital. Cameron had been reportedly missing from the ER for a few hours now, and Chase knew something was truly wrong.

"They need you in there," He spoke with his smooth Australian accent that never failed to give Cameron goose bumps. Slowly, Chase sat down next to his wife, who had her arms crossed at her chest and her gaze glued to the concrete ground.

Cameron shook her head, not wanting to open her mouth for fear of crying again. She was undoubtedly upset, but Chase really didn't know why.

"Allison, if you're upset about what I think you're upset about, than don't be... It's not-"

"It's a huge deal, Robert! I can't tell Cuddy. I just can't," As she spoke, her flawless green eyes brimmed with tears.

Her agitated husband sighed. Chase had no clue why this was such a huge deal. Of course it was for them, but why was it so hard to tell Cuddy? Neither of them knew how she would react, but it was worth a shot. Plus, it _had_ to be done sometime.

He sighed, reaching his arm around Cameron and gave her a gentle, loving squeeze. "It'll all be ok. I promise. I'm sure Cuddy will be…" He searched for the right word, "… Happy."

It all sounded so wrong. The tears in Cameron's eyes had convinced him to believe that maybe Cameron was right- telling Cuddy wouldn't be as easy as they thought.

"Right…because she hates me." Cameron looked up into her husband's eyes, and he felt something inside his body shatter. There was nothing more that Chase hated than to see her cry.

"Why would she hate you? You're a great doctor, an amazing person, and-"

"I dated House." She cut him off, inducing an abrupt silence. Her eyes found their way to the ground once more, where they felt most comfortable. Speaking of House, where was he? Both doctors hadn't seen him in over a week, but really didn't think much of it. It wasn't anything new.

Swiftly, Chase let his arms fall from her and began running his hand through his dirty blonde hair. He tried to laugh, but instead let out a half sigh-half laugh. His eyes were shut, and his head was slowly moving from left to right in skepticism.

Hesitant to break the silence, Chase's words were slow and soft. "Yeah. You did. A long time ago. Why would that upset her?" He asked, but he already knew. Everyone knew. Cuddy had a thing for House.

Cameron's gaze met his, and she widened her eyes. "Oh, please. She's hated me ever since House and I went on our first…." She wasn't quite sure what it was. "…date…" Which probably wasn't the best word to describe it, but it worked- although it really set off Chase.

He began to attempt to rationalize the situation. "Okay. The only reason why she would still be upset is if you still liked House." His eyes shot open. "Unless….you still like House. That gives everyone a reason to be pissed."

Cameron scrunched her face and rolled her eyes. This conversation had taken place so many times before, and as much as she tried to avoid the topic, it always somehow came up. "Caring for someone and liking someone are two different things! I care about his well being, yeah! But do I like him? No. " She put her head in her hands in vexation. "Cuddy probably can't differentiate between the two."

Chase narrowed his eyes, not knowing if she was being completely truthful. The idea of Cameron and House having a history still bothered Chase, for he remembered how happy she seemed whenever he… limped past her. Her penetrating eyes would suddenly become warm and benevolent and her posture would straighten, as she would try to hold back the beautiful, giddy smile that tried to play onto her lips.

Would she ever be as content with him as she was with House?

Suddenly, a wave of guilt washed over him. She was his wife, and he should trust her. He silently hoped he was making the right decision in doing so.

In an attempt to change the subject of conversation, he simply stated, "they really need you back in the ER." As if on cue, Chase's beeper went off, "And they need me for a liver transplant. I've got to go."

Before getting up to head back into the busy hospital, he gently took Cameron's hand into his own. Usually when this happened, a spark formed between them. This time, though, there was a void. Neither of them seemed to notice though, for they both had other thoughts buzzing around in their minds.

"Allison, are you ok? We can talk to Cuddy when you're ready." His voice was full of concern.

Cameron slightly smiled and bit her bottom lip. She loved Chase, and genuinely hoped that he would someday forget about her history with House. "Yeah, I just need some time alone."

Chase understood. He gave a small nod and started to stand up. Reluctantly, he let go of Cameron's fragile hand. As the surgeon turned to make his way into the hospital, he noticed Dr. Wilson speeding towards the bench where he and Cameron were stationed.

Chase furrowed his brow and turned to look at Cameron, who had a similar expression on her face as she wiped away what was left of her tears. As Wilson neared, she stood up to greet the panicked looking oncologist.

"Hi, Wilson…" She welcomed him, and tightened her crossed arms around her chest. "Is everything ok?"

Wilson looked utterly worried. "Have any of you seen Dr. Cuddy?"

Cameron slightly cringed at the name of her boss, but no one else seemed to notice.

Chase shook his head. "No, she's probably in her office. Why?"

" I already checked. No one has seen her. The team refuses to give a diagnosis unless they get an explanation as to why he hasn't been here for the past-"

"Wait," the fast speaking Wilson was cut off by an extremely puzzled looking Cameron, "What's going on?"

Whoops. Wilson forgot that they didn't know about House yet, either.

Where was Cuddy? He knew that Cuddy wasn't going to tell the team about it just yet, probably out of fear of them not doing their jobs properly, but shouldn't Cameron and Chase know?

Completely distressed, he sighed. He would have to check with Cuddy, so he only told them part of the truth. "House was admitted to the hospital today around 1:00. He suffered a grand mal seizure and a concussion."

Cameron gasped as her hand flew to her gaping mouth. "Oh my god." It was barely a whisper. Her heart sunk to her stomach, and the tears began streaming down her flawless, porcelain face again.

"Yeah." Wilson continued, "Cuddy disappeared, and I need her permission to tell the team how it all happened-"

"Can you tell us?" Chase cut him off also, placing him hands on his hips. Even he was slightly nervous.

Wilson shook his head rapidly. "There's not enough time. House is in critical condition and should be waking up pretty soon. He needs to be under watch for a post-concussive seizure, but the team refuses to look at him until they get an explanation. "

Cameron shook her head in disbelief. "So they're just going to let him get worse?" She turned to face Chase. "Go do your transplant…I'll go talk to the team."

Without stopping for a response, she began walking towards hospital to the diagnostics room.

Chase's beeper alarmed again, and he cursed under his breath as he checked it and looked up Wilson. "The surgical staff is waiting for me. I'll see you later. " With that, he quickly turned away and began speeding towards the Hospital, merely brushing past Cameron as he jogged through the automatic doors.

Wilson gave a sigh of aggravation. That wasn't much help. What was going on with those two? He decided to worry about that later, for he had to focus on the task at hand.

"Wait, Cameron!" He called after her. She was about to enter the hospital, and Wilson jogged to where she was standing.

"Yeah?" she seemed slightly irritated, probably having to do with that exchange with Chase, thought Wilson.

"What are you going to tell the team?"

Cameron began walking to the elevators and Wilson tagged along, waiting for an answer.

She stepped into the elevator and pushed the button of her destination defiantly. "I'm going to make something up."

Before Wilson could respond, the doors closed.

The bewildered oncologist blinked several times as he let it all sink in. He hoped Cameron knew what she was doing- but he had other things on his mind.

He had to find Cuddy. As he aimlessly wandered around the Hospital, asking all of the staff if they had seen her at all that afternoon, he began loosing all of the hope and patience he possessed.

Wilson knew that the last thing Cuddy wanted was for House to be dead, but if she didn't show up soon and Cameron's plan failed, than what seemed to be a terrible nightmare might become an even worse reality.

It was already all too real.

* * *

A/N- should I continue? It's up to you!

Although, if you do want me to, i won't be able to post until august 2nd. I'm leaving on the 22nd of june, so thats a good 6 weeks. I'm sorry! I promise I'll have a few chapters done on paper by the time i get back :)

thanks so much for the wonderful reviews!! you guys rock!

have a great summer!


	7. Chapter 7: Your House

I'm back!!! I know it's been forever, but I'm home now so I'll be uplloading more frequently.

I guess you could call this the warm up chapter, as I'm still getting back into fic writing mode. It's short but significant, so be patient. For all of you wondering about the cliffy from chapter 6, this may help a bit :)

of course, thanks again to Simone... BETA :)

So as always, R&R! (please :] )

enjoy :)

* * *

He had left the spare key under the mat he seemed to have carelessly thrown upon the ground. It seemed as if he wanted Cuddy to find it. She did.

The sight of the empty room was painful. It looked exactly like it would've if House was still residing there; empty scotch bottles scattered along the table in front of the TV, the remote stuffed between to cushions in the couch, the guitar sitting nicely in it's place in the corner just waiting to be touched. There was one thing missing – he wasn't there.

Cuddy had slipped out of the hospital about an hour ago, hoping that no one would notice her disappearance, though that seemed unlikely. Her tears had blurred her vision as she drove the short distance to House's apartment. Now as she grasped the spare key and stood in the doorway, she didn't really know why she was there.

As she reluctantly shut the door behind her and made her way to open the blinds, her cell phone rang. Wilson. Cuddy quickly pushed the ignore button for the 12th time since House had arrived at PPTH and she had made her great escape. She was overwhelmed by the urgent and rushed vibe the hospital gave off after House had arrived on a stretcher, clearly in critical condition. Cuddy needed to be away from all craziness, away from Wilson, Cameron, chase, the team, and the entire hospital in general. After all, she _was_ the boss, so who could complain?

Suddenly, as she realized she had finally gotten away, she sighed and took it all in. The aroma of cheap cologne and alcohol filled the room, intoxicating her as she remembered House's exact scent. The same scent that sent her heart racing every time it reached her nostrils. The bad weather had cleared up a bit and the sun was covered by a single grey cloud, dimming it's light slightly. The remaining light poured into the room, engulfing the furniture just enough to make everything seem more alive. Cuddy had been in this room before, but she had never seen it through these desperate, worried eyes.

Knowing that she would have to return to the hospital sooner or later made her blood run cold, while the thought of seeing his face again gave her a short rush of excitement. What would House say if she just showed up to visit him in the hospital? She was sure she needed an excuse to see him. Cuddy then concluded that the best thing to do would be to gather some of House's belongings and bring them over to the hospital for him.

Before entering his bedroom, she looked around feeling guilty for breaking in like this. His presence haunted her as she slowly opened the door. Cuddy sighed and blinked away a tear as she went to sit on the unmade bed. This is the place she belonged - waking up in the morning next to the one man she loved. Constant thoughts of being with House rushed through her mind 24 hours a day, every day at work. There was no getting away from it. Now, the extremely powerful Cuddy had faced a battle that she had lost, and her mind was cluttered as she sat defeated on the bed. Her thoughts came to an abrupt stop as she remembered the purpose for even being in the bedroom.

She stood up slowly to avoid a head rush, and grabbed a pillow from the bed to bring to House. As she did so, she caught a glimpse of a magazine sticking out from under the bed. She chuckled. Typical House. She had no intention of bringing _that _to him.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After about a half hour, Cuddy had gathered the basic necessities to bring with her to PPTH- His pillow, some blankets, a spare cane (just incase Mayfield didn't transport the other one to the hospital), a toothbrush and toothpaste, and a water bottle she had found in his virtually empty fridge.

Then she stuffed a few socks into a bag and closed the sock drawer, but something jutting out from the bottom of the dresser caught her eye. Her heart stopped and her eyes widened. It was a picture. As she reached under the dresser to grasp it, her hand touched something else. As she pulled both objects towards her, she could practically hear her heart pounding.

From that point on, her mind had begun racing in a sort of panic. Cuddy immediately stuffed both objects into her bag, along with the rest of the possessions she had picked up, and rushed out of the apartment, slamming the door firmly behind her.


	8. Chapter 8: Egotistical Jackass

Ok. I'm not going to lie. taking a 6 month break from writing, than coming back with a crappy chapter isn't nice of me. I apologize. here's a little memory refresher from previous chapters:

House (currently in mayfield psychiatric) was given a choice by amber to either have Cuddy or no leg pain. before answering, he begins seizing.

Cuddy and wilson are worried sick about House until realizing that he is being admitted to the hospital. after finding out about the seizure, Cuddy panics. without anyone else knowing, she goes to House's apartment to pick up some things- basic necessities along with 2 mystery items that will be revealed (or not) in later chapters.

while this is going on, Chase and Cameron have a big secret for Cuddy that Cameron is nervous about telling. Chase also questions Cameron's idea of "caring" about House.

Wilson frantically searches for Cuddy. as he comes across chase and cameron, he tells them that only he and Cuddy know House's full story and why he was missing for the past week. He couldn't tell Cameron and chase OR the team, and the team said they wouldn't diagnose him until they get a story as to where House was and why he was being admitted into PPTH. Cameron is pissed that he wont get treatment and decides to make up a story to tell the team so they will diagnose House.

For further detail, reread the chapters :)

once again, i apologize and promise that this will never happen again!!! hope you enjoy! R&R!

ps- sorry for any major grammatical mistakes. i felt bad and i was trying to post this asap.

* * *

"So.....you're saying that House is here because he got into a motorcycle crash…?"

Foreman questioned Cameron, not believing one word that came out of her mouth.

"…Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. " Cameron wasn't very good at this. She began to wonder why she volunteered herself up for this in the first place.

Thirteen and Taub exchanged confused looks and then glanced at Foreman, who raised his eyebrows and stood up with his arms crossed to meet Cameron's height. "So, he got into a crash. He'll be fine. We just need to test for brain damage and internal bleeding."

He smirked and turned to meet the terrified eyes of his team members. "You heard me. Oh, and while you're at it, give him 130 mg of Morphine for the pain."

Thirteen and Taub once again gave each other surprised looks, but didn't know what else to do. As they got up, Cameron gasped.

"What?! You can't give House that much morphine without knowing what's wrong with him! That could kill hi-" Shit.

Foreman sighed, and signaled the team to sit back down. "So he didn't get into a crash. You have no clue what happened to him." it was obvious to Foreman that she was lying. This is getting ridiculous, he thought.

Cameron walked over to meet Foreman's inquisitive eyes. "Fine. I don't know. Wilson came looking for Cuddy and it slipped that House was here. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but the last thing all of us need is for House to get even worse and possibly die due of lack of medical attention from his own employees. " Her eyes brimmed with tears as Foreman scoffed and sat back down at the glass table in the diagnosis room next the Taub and Thirteen.

"Look, if we don't know what happened to him, than there's nothing we can do about it." He obnoxiously added, "plus, we don't work for him anymore."

Cameron was in awe. "There's a file in his room from the EMT. Maybe you could go and look at it, find out what brought him here, and diagnose him!"

Foreman shook his head. "We were informed before you arrived that Cuddy and Wilson had made sure the file was limited to information only pertaining to the current condition of our patient. No history, no information on where the patient came from."

The patient? Cameron's heart pounded in fury. So now House was just a regular patient? She had enough of the crap that Foreman had been giving her. Without thinking about what would come next, she walked over to where Foreman was sitting and got down to his eye level.

"Look, asshole. He's not a patient. He's House. I don't know what's going on either. I'm just as confused as you are. Will I let that fact kill your boss, the best doctor in the entire Hospital? No. Will I let your bitchy attitude get in the way of his health? Not a chance. So you better do your job or I will make sure that you no longer have one by the end of the day. Now stop PMSing, get off your ass, and haul it into our 'patient's' room to do whatever you can to keep him from dying before we can find Cuddy and sort out this mess."

Slowly but never breaking her vicious gaze, Cameron stood up defiantly and waited for a reply.

Foreman simply stood up as well, looked Cameron in the eye, and said, "No."

And just as quickly as the word was spoken, Foreman had opened the door and let it shut behind him. Cameron was speechless. As she watched him stride down the hallway to the elevators, she felt a hand tap her on the shoulder.

" Thanks for telling him off like that. He's been… PMSing ever since House didn't show up this week and Cuddy put him in charge. " Taub meant every word, too. Whenever Foeman was put in charge, he became an egotistical jackass in Taub's opinion. Even more of one than House ever was.

Thirteen smiled. "I'll talk to him later. But for now, no one is dying. What should we do?" She knew that her Boyfriend was overreacting, but would never let his pissy mood get in the way of saving her boss's life.

As Cameron sighed with relief, she tore her gaze from the glass doors and looked behind her at Taub and Thirteen. "Thanks. Umm….Go and see what's on the file. Do whatever you can to hold off any emergencies until Cuddy and Wilson arrive together. " The two doctors nodded and began making their way to the door.

Cameron spoke again before they made their exit. "I know it'll be hard treating him without knowing what's wrong. I wish I knew also. But you _did_ learn from House. I'm sure you can figure something out. Thank you for doing this. As soon as Cuddy and Wilson come, I'm sure it'll all be cleared up."

Taub gave a slight nod and left the room. Thirteen made her way over to Cameron and wrapped her arms around her. "I'll talk to Eric later. Don't worry about House so much." And with that, she walked out the door as well.

Cameron stood frozen in the middle of the room. Until now, she didn't realize how…defensive she was about House. Why _did_ she care so much about Foreman not wanting to treat him? Cameron knew she cared for House, but it never occurred to her that maybe it was still more than just caring.

Determined to take it all off of her mind, the puzzled doctor began making her way to the surgical wing. Hopefully the sight of her Husband would get her mind off of her former boss.

Husband? Cameron felt sick to her stomach as she stepped into the elevator and took a deep breath, preparing for the worst.

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